Dating in your 20’s means that you relive Halloween year round because there are literally ghosts and zombies crossing your path at every turn.
Ok, not literally. But there ARE guys who so flakey, so confusing that we’ve literally assigned them monster names in order to describe their actions.
WTF is up with that?! There are so many awkward, frustrating and funny aspects of modern relationships that until recently, had yet to be defined. And most of all, we need a guide to handle when we are in these situations because they seem to happen way too often.
DID YOU JUST SEE A GHOST?
When someone “ghosts” you, it describes someone who evaporates or disappears into thin air when you
are were seeing them. If you’ve been consistently dating someone whether it’s been 3 dates or 6, and then all of a sudden you stop hearing from them either via text, social media or whatnot, welp, you’ve been ghosted.
How to handle when it happens?
Odds are, we all know someone whose been ghosted and there are a few ways you can handle it when it happens. First of all always remember, YOU DESERVE BETTER.
#IMO, someone who resorts to ghosting
is a coward isn’t great at communication. And they don’t have the respect for your feelings OR your time.
Here are three ways to handle getting ghosted:
- Confront them: If your the kind of person that needs peace of mind, it never hurts to ask what’s going on or what happened. That being said, if someone’s ghosting you, they probably aren’t great at communication. So I wouldn’t get your hopes up for an amazing answer.
- Delete them from EVERYTHING: Out of sight, out of mind, amiright? If someone isn’t giving you the time of day, you can cut, them out! Think I’m being dramatic? I’m actually not. In the world of social media, it is SO easy to revist your SO’s page after they’ve ghosted you. Well – this problem will solve it all. Obviously, tread lightly if this person has mutual friends with you and such .. but if they’re a regular ‘ol Tinder date – can’t hurt to cut them out.
- Let it be: I feel like when someone ghosts you, there’s a chance they want you to chase after them, just so you can turn them down. Well -don’t give them that satisfaction. Let bygones be bygones and just let it go.
WHEN YOU’RE DATING A ZOMBIE
Although ghosting is a little more mainstream, when someone is a “zombie” or “zombie-ing” (is that a word??), he or she ghosted you in the past and comes back from the dead – making he/she a zombie. Voila! I feel like this happens ALL the time, the second you’ve forgotten about someone – they are back in your life.
I would love to believe people have truly positive intent in life (maybe idealistic) and if someone comes back from the dating dead then maybe they are worth a second chance. Now obviously, this is totally circumstantial and if someone ghosted you in a horrible way, drop that dude. That being said, if someone comes back with a genuine apology and appears to change (and proves themselves over time), maybe they are a cat living their second life and not a total zombie. But don’t give them nine lives. Just don’t.
If you’re picking up breadcrumbs…
Finally, and probably worst of all… you could be picking up breadcrumbs from the significant other you are dating. This means he/she is literally leaving you tidbits of hope here and there so
you can plan your future together you think there is a chance you might end up being official one day. The reality is, if someone is leaving you breadcrumbs, he/she is simply just stringing you along.
It’s important to take your “love blinders” off and make sure you are happy with the person you are dating more often than you are not. If you are worrying in between the time and then you hear them say “I really like you” once in a blue moon, they probably don’t truly love you. Or they do – and they just don’t know how to treat you. Watch out for these breadcrumbs and only let the most genuine of men into your life.
Having any of these things happen to you is not fun. In the past, when you went to describe this to your friends, it would be hard to sympathize because you weren’t “officially” dating. Now, those moments are over. Sympathy galore. Pity parties can begin.