One of the weirdest parts of becoming an adult is the reality of constantly being told “no”.
No, you’re not qualified for this job…
You can’t afford that car or house…
No, you didn’t get the apartment…
In college, professors and teachers alike preach following your dreams, traveling the world and risking it all. At least for me, the second I moved my tassel, it seemed that everyone else was in control. And that really sucked.
All of a sudden I had a boss to report to, a landlord who made all the rules and roommates that I was subletting from. The rude awakening of being the bottom of the totem pole – as opposed to the powerful senior I once was – hit me like a pack of bricks. I didn’t want to give up on my big dreams, but I also didn’t know how to convince others that I could handle anything that came my way.
At work, I had customers tell me to bring my boss to future meetings. Because I looked young and didn’t have years of experience, the assumption was that I wasn’t qualified to talk to someone higher up than me. It became REALLY hard to have confidence and my excitement for my 20-somethings became a massive #buzzkill.
As much as I want to say that we never need other’s around us to believe in our goals in order to accomplish them, IMO, that’s simply not true. You may need a boss or a sponsor in order to get what you want and it’s your job to convince them that they SHOULD give it to you.
You basically have to sell yourself.
TBH, touting my own accomplishments has not always been my strong suit. It felt awkward and self-centered to share my wins. When I first became a spin instructor, In situations where I needed someone to CHOOSE me, like when I became a spin instructor, I started taking three easy steps to convince others to pick me.
These THREE easy things that have significantly improved other’s ability to trust me. Whether it’s getting an apartment or even starting this blog, these three rules will help ya wade through the
battlefield arena of getting ANYONE to take a chance on you.
THE THREE FOOL-PROOF WAYS TO CONVINCE ANYONE TO BELIEVE IN YOU
1. Understand WHY You Deserve This
Whatever your goal is, it is important to understand WHY it should be yours.
Are you great at what you do?
What makes you unique?
Why YOU as opposed to the other people vying for the same goal?
In a last-ditch attempt to not sound like a motivational speaker (#illleavethattotonyrobbins), let me explain what I mean. In getting someone else to take a chance, hire or believe in you, he/she needs to understand what makes you so freaking special.
Because you are special, like a shiny, glittery unicorn.
If you can’t even clearly vocalize what makes you unique, how can you expect others to do the same?!
Here are some questions you can ask yourself to get your juices flowing to figure out your “why”:
If I were in someone else’s shoes, why would I choose me?
What makes me different than everyone else?
What makes me a better choice than someone else?
Put your answers to these questions into one or two sentences to concretely understand WHY someone should take a chance on you. It may sound silly, but if you can vocalize this – it will help someone decided whether or not to pick you. Your basically making their life MUCH easier.
2. Visualize The Outcome
Close your eyes. Picture what you want. Envision someone else saying YES and taking that chance on you. Oh gosh, now I really sound like Tony Robbins.
All jokes aside, being able to clearly see the outcome of whatever you are striving for is important for two reasons:
Do you think people can sense nerves? I do. Being strong in your delivery when going after your goals and persuading others to choose you is so important for this reason.
When I’m nervous, I stutter, sweat and the pitch of my voice goes up. When I feel confident, I talk more slowly and think more clearly – getting after what I want. #getitgirl
In convincing someone to take that chance on me, having confidence is essential. I started visualizing when I was training to teach spin. I would close my eyes, picture myself on a bike teaching a class. It helped me practice how I was going to teach and how I wanted to appear when I was teaching.
It wasn’t until I shared this method with a friend that they told me that this is what actors and athletes do at well.
B. You can visualize HOW you’ll get there
You’ve already gone over your why. But, how will you get to this goal of yours? When getting someone to choose YOU, it’s important to be able to explain how you’ll get there.
What are the steps you’ll take to ensure everyone’s success?!
How hard and often will you work?
How will the results look?
When I’m visualizing (I like to do this while meditating!), I try and think through the different possibilities of how I’ll get to my goal.
3. ASK For What You Want
Picture this. You are going after what you want. You understand your why, you’ve visualized…what’s left? To ASK for what you want.
Even if you’re en route to convincing someone else to take that chance on you, it never hurts to ask (specifically!!) for what you want. There’s something to be said for when someone is super straightforward and blatantly asks for what they want.
“I deserve a promotion.”
“Can I have this apartment?”
“I will get good grades.”
Being able to state it out loud and ask for something will help others want to give it to you. They know what you want. They’ve heard you say the specifics.
If you follow these three steps, you’ll be able to convince anyone to take a chance on you.
Seal your deal with this formula:
A. ASK for what you want (detailed!)
B. Explain WHY someone should work with you
C. Share HOW you’ll get there